Out with the old.

So, I am the type of person that NEVER quits thinking about stuff. What exactly depends on what is going on. My blowdryer blew up. As I went to send it to its eternal peace, I thought back to when I bought it at my favorite Albertson's when I lived in Dallas. Then I thought of a blog that my neice did about living in the city and what she likes about it. She commented on the ability to blend in. (probably not in those words). That was the appeal that the city had for me. No one knew me. I was anonymous. Those who did know me....didn't judge me, didn't call me weird, didn't make me feel different in any way. I didn't go crazy in the city. I never got into the drinking scene....I dated a jerk (didn't make the best decisions...but I was growing up), I never did anything really wrong. I just was. I focused on "making it" down there. Being able to support myself....then I could leave. In a way, I was healing. I never REALLY left God. I was angry for sometime because of things. But if you are angry at God, you must believe in Him.

Do I wish I would do things over? Yes, but not all of it. I needed that time away. I needed to heal. My heart was hurt badly. I would take away the romantic relationships, I would take away the tatoos :) , but most everything else I would keep.

I laid my blowdryer to rest. I get excited when I throw something away that I bought in Texas. Not because I didn't like Texas. Its symbolic to me of letting go of the past and seeing where I am now. Sound silly? I see a loving husband who I think is pretty good looking, a little boy that is completely wild. I never knew I would be where I am. I am glad I got here. No one knew why I would come back to this little town I grew up in, this bedlam, this Peyton place. :) I see the good. I see the people I knew as a little girl. Its all familiar. I am not weird after all.